One of the
finest things about visiting Kentucky in the summer is each morning J.T. arrives
at my house promptly at eight AM and we go off to the local Dairy Queen for
breakfast. There we meet the great number of guys I call the Liars Club. They are mostly farmers coming in from an
already full day’s work. Some are
retired workers who now enjoy riding their motorcycles. And then there are some who just arrive. I don’t know what they do otherwise. But all seem happy about something. They enjoy playing tricks on each other and
laughing about it. Then as time goes by
they have a tendency to seriously try to settle world problems. Politics are a lot of fun. Nobody agrees with anybody. Religion rarely comes up because I am certain
there would be a fight involved if it did.
Jerry is one everyone seems to
like. He works for the local high school
and does something there for their athletics.
I don’t know what. He comes in all dressed up for work and I don’t know
why about that either. He never goes to
work until mid morning. I sort of envy
his job, whatever it is. Jerry is one of
those nice guys who probably has been educated beyond his intelligence and
seems to understand math better that most of the others. So once a week he explains to everyone all
about the lottery. He makes it sound
good so after a short period of time he talks most of us into trying our
luck. We all know the odds are against
us but it is hard to say no to Jerry. After
he collects our money he leaves to buy the tickets. We all agree to share the winnings, mostly
because that gives us something to talk about after Jerry leaves. You know.
What are you going to do with the money if we win? Each one .has his own
private wants that he is excited to talk about.
As for me I told them that I would pay it on my bills as far as it would
go. One man (I can’t tell you his name) told
us he planned to get himself a new wife.
Several talked about new cars or motorcycles or new houses. One farmer said he would get a new tractor
because he was tired of plowing behind his tired old mule. One of the women who
worked there said that she would buy the Dairy Queen and fire that son of a
bitch she worked for now.
And then there was John. He usually just sits and listens to all the
stuff everybody else talks about but says very little. But he had contributed his bet and the
winning that week was sixty million dollars.
All of us wanted to know what John was going to do with his money. You could tell John was thinking. Jerry had told him that if we won that after
taxes and all we would get somewhere around two million apiece. John scratched his head a bit and then smiled
and said, “That is more money than I make in a week! Why I know just what I am going to do. First I am going to pay off the entire debt
for our church. Then I am going to get the
bills paid for that teenage girl here who just broke her neck over near
Canmer. Then I am going to get Amy (his wife)
that dress she wanted last Christmas that we couldn't afford. Then I think I will send Rocky’s (his
neighbor) two boys to college. They are
both really smart but ‘ol Rocky ain’t got the money to send them.”
All of a sudden everybody stopped
talking. And we all started
thinking. We had all talked about the
things we could get for ourselves. John
just wanted to do for others. And you
know the best part. John had worked hard
all of his life without ever really earning much. His wife saw that he ate well but other than
that, John never had anything. And if
the truth were known he was probably the happiest man in the liars club.
I hope he wins. I think I may give him mine. Or not.
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