Each of us might feel better if occasionally we looked back at our lives. Hopefully we can learn from that experience. A really smart man told me one time that we never learn from our mistakes. I was shocked at that statement until he explained. He asked me to to think about horseshoes. If you throw a horseshoe ten times you may only get one or even no ringers. However if you keep throwing them eventually you will toss perhaps ten or at least close to that. If we learned by our mistakes we would never be able to get a ringer because we made ten mistakes the first try. But as time goes by and we keep throwing we learn to do it right because we have learned by the things we have done correctly. Does any of this make sense?
Because I am getting old I looked back on my life. And what did I learn? Not much I'm afraid. But one thing stands out for me.
For fifty years or so I designed houses for a living. Altogether I think I designed somewhere around three hundred. Some of them were McMansions and some were small houses that could be built with dynamite boxes and thumbtacks. All were extremely well done. (Please forget I said that!) I never argued with a client. If they told me they wanted a three foot wide closet with a two foot door that is what I put on the drawings. I knew that I was not allowed a preference as to anything in the house. The house for most people is the largest and most important investment they will ever make. It is personal and dear to the ones who will live there. So it was my job to draw away and otherwise keep my mouth shut. When, if ever I designed one for myself, then and only then would I be allowed a taste. When I was asked to include something that I was certain would not work I would suggest that they might reconsider but if they insisted then there it was on the drawings.
So how did I keep my sanity? Well I sometimes think that I didn't. But I did have a speach that I always gave when the drawings were through. I would sit them down and ask them if I could say a few words before they began construction. If they said that it was all right then this is the words I gave them, free of charge:
"Folks, I can give you anything you want on your design. It is easy to put such things on drawings. I can do this even if I disagree with the things you have asked for. That is my job. And when all has been accomplished then you will have the house you wanted. However it will still not be a home. For that to happen you will have to do your part. You will have to add the love. Love for each other. Love for your family and the friends who will visit your house. You will have to work together to build the family who will share what you have built for them. I appreciate your letting me be a part of all of this but be aware that in the future you will look upon this design as yours. Your ideas! Your desires. Your wants. Your needs. So enjoy your house and enjoy the love that it encases."
I have seen the inside of perhaps a dozen of my designed houses after the furniture was in it. The house is a personal thing and the designer at that time is no longer needed or wanted in most cases. They get you ready for this in Architectural school and so it ends up being what we all want. In the end the love wins!
I have had a good life and now am retired. What would I do different? Maybe I would have tried harder to learn to play that stupid banjo.
Write me and share your story, eh? It is all right for you to laugh at mine but I promise not to laugh at yours.
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